Everything there sounds like a lack of communication and impatience. Like when dumping groups accuse MAME developers of hoarding code and updated hash dumps. Or when MAME developers accuse dumping groups for supposedly hoarding items and making them unaffordable. In both cases everyone wants things done as quickly as possible without thinking these are hobby projects and they will be done out there eventually, not when you demand credit for it.
Making donations doesn't make them your subordinates. IMHO if you want to donate that's fine, just don't expect a monthly report because this is not a job or a Wall Street investment.
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