There's no learning curve. PayPal tells you at every step of the way what will happen. It seems that you selected "I'm paying for goods or services" instead of "I'm sending money to family or friends".
Yes, you may not have been sending money to a friend, but unless you agreed with him that he would eat the PayPal transfer fees - which there always are - then your only option to eat the fees yourself is to select the second option.
It's not like PayPal is terribly opaque about this fact, either. Note the words "Free for you. The seller pays the fees.":
Now here's what it says when you select the second option. It tells you explicitly what the fees will be depending on your payment source - and before you say it, yes, it says the same thing when you have a USA-based account:
Don't get huffy with PayPal because you didn't read the clear-cut description of the transaction. Like it or not, PayPal is not a bank, which means they ultimately can't make money by fractional lending on the reserves in users' account - all funds must be liquid at all times. Therefore, the only reasonable way for them to make money is by charging a percentage for each transaction. Whether you pay the fee or the seller pays the fee is entirely up to you, but they're upfront every step of the way as to what the end result will be. If you were not paying the fee yourself, what else do you think would happen?
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