MAMEWorld Forums - The Loony Bin - Car Battery's Suck!!!!!

Okay. Earlier today, a buddy of mine lets me know that his car battery has died and he needs a jump. I had nothing to do so I said sure. I pull my car right next to his, and I have to admit the two of us had no idea what to do. Ha. Thanks to the joy of Smartphones and the Internet, we figured out the order to connect the cables and saw the good spark which means that the cars are connected. With everything hooked up, my buddy turned the key to his car and nothing. The battery must be completely dead.

After going through my entire collection of tools to find the proper ratchet to undo the screws on the battery terminal, I realized I had nothing. So with the sun completely set, no lighting except a flashlight, and needle nose pliers to try and undo the screws as I had no proper tools handy, we eventually got the two terminals undone and removed the battery.

Since AutoZone is able to test batteries for free, we took the battery to the store to see if the thing was fully dead, or something else was wrong. Well, the battery was 100% dead. No charge left, no way to recharge it. Looking at the testing device, I could see it was right. So for $125, my buddy bought a new battery and we traveled back to my pad where his car was sitting there dead. (My buddy is my roommate). We sit the new battery in it's place, and begin to clean off the terminals of the cables to remove 10 years of corrosion. Thankfully, it was surface stuff and some quick sanding with very fine grit sandpaper got it all off.

I don't know how it happened, but as I was cleaning the positive terminal the cable contacted the post on the battery while the negative terminal contacted the other post. I HAVE NEVER GOTTEN A SHOCK THAT PAINFUL IN MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE! Holy shit. A bunch of sparks and vulgarities went flying. It felt like someone punched my left hand and arm while stabbing it at the same time. Good God car batteries have a painful charge to them. We then stepped away and pulled the battery out of the bay while I regained control of my left arm. Ha.

With the battery out, I noticed that the positive cable in the car (Honda Accord 2003) was on the same side as the negative terminal of the battery. The negative cable was closest to what was marked as the positive battery. The fuckers at AutoZone gave us a battery with the positive and negative terminals opposite of what the dead battery had. My buddy and I made the trip back to the store, and the guy who sold us the battery said "Oops. I got the wrong model number here. Sorry about that." and he gave us the proper battery.

After some more time spent driving to the store in my car, getting the right battery, and driving back to my pad, we set on installing the battery. The lack of proper tools made this quite difficult, but we eventually got the new battery in and the car started easily.

Still, the fucking shock I got SUCKED! For a good half hour or so, the muscles in my left hand/arm were totally fucked. The fact that it was 17 degrees outside made it even worse. The nice thing is I learned how to replace a dead car battery today, but damn, that fucking hurt.

The beer afterward has helped me forget the sucktitude of the shock, but eventually the beer will wear off and I'll remember how much this sucked. lol.

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I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.