>We have never spoken about what I did to that toilet. >
Oh man. Bad flashback memories there.
When I was younger going to a party with this girl, she stopped at a Starbucks along the way.
Now, I didn't drink coffee or soda or none of that rot... so I was a caffeine virgin if you will... but she offered me an espresso? I think it was an espresso... well, I accepted it, to not be impolite with this fine lady whom I was hoping to impress (and bang).
So we get to the party, and I need to find a bathroom pronto... my bowels were on sudden nitrous oxide fueled over-drive.
I DESTOYED that toilet... alll night long. I made sweet pashionate love to that toilet. I abused it. I cracked it. I atom-smashed it. If a toilet had an ass hole I would have torn it a new one.
I could not have left that party soon enough but she wanted to stay all night... and at some point of course noticed I kept disappearing to the bathroom. I'm sure word got around from the host to her that someone defiled his bathroom in unholy ways because there had to be significant collateral damage... but nothing was ever said to me.
Literally nothing. Last I heard from them all.
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