"I was over in Australia during Easter. It was interesting to note they celebrate Easter the same way we do; commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus, by telling our children, a giant bunny rabbit, left chocolate eggs in the night. Now, I wonder why we're fucked up as a race. You know, I've read the Bible. I can't find the words 'bunny' or 'chocolate' anywhere in that fucking book.
"Where do you come up with this shit? Why those two things? Why not 'Goldfish left Lincoln Logs in your sock drawer'? As long as we're making shit up, go hog wild. At least a goldfish with a Lincoln Log on its back crawling across your floor to your sock drawer has a miraculous connotation to it!
"'Look mummy, a Goldfish left a Lincoln log in me sock drawer!' 'That's the story of Jesus...'"