I love the cheesy intros they put on stories about guilty people:
"Dickie Sanders was not naturally prone to depression. The 21-year-old BMX rider was known for being sweet spirited and warm -- a hugger not a hand-shaker. The kind of guy who called on holidays. Who helped his father on the family farm. Who spent countless hours perfecting complicated tricks on his bike."
Because good guys go to drug courts and buy bath salts from a fellow offender.