MAMEWorld Forums - The Loony Bin - Re: Hats off to Patrice O'Neal

> Chin up there buckaroo, Ron Santo lived till he was 70 with type 1 (58 years
> diagnosed). He didn't even start losing limbs until his 50s... There is a sick sort
> of comfort in knowing the likely cause of your demise though...
>
> I totally agree with you on the difference between types. I'm a II, and always
> thought the types should be segregated in name better. They may produce the same end
> result, but they really are nothing alike in cause or treatment.

Oh, my chin is quite far up. I realize each and every day just how lucky I am to be alive today. It's just that at the same time, every single moment where I do a blood sugar test I realize just how mortal I am.

What hurts me the most is that I work for a pharmaceutical company. A major fortune 500 one. So I can see first hand how profit truly is the number one priority, while everything else comes second. I require medications to survive every day, yet, I want them to cost a lot of money so that I can get a good salary. It's a strange internal paradox of sorts.

Type II Diabetes will always get the most attention and the most research funding since it's a disorder that can be controlled by different compounds and different methods. As a result, companies can make a good deal of money on the treatment of it. For Type I Diabetes, there are only two options. Treat it, or Cure it. The only treatment option out there is insulin use, and nothing else will work. As a result, companies feel that there is nothing they can come up with that will work. It's a waste of R&D money when nothing you can do will ever turn out better than the current methods of treatment. The other option out there is to find a complete cure for Type I Diabetes, but if you do that, there will be no need for patients to pay money to keep it under control, and therefore you either have to make it insanely expensive to cure it, or no research it at all. I've asked some high ranking folks in my company if they would try and research Type I Diabetes , and they just flat out told me "It's not financially a good idea to look into new treatments or cures for that. Type II is where the money is."

I hated hearing that, but at the same time respected the honesty. Type I is not fun. Even when I am completely good and eat no carbs, drink no alcohol, and do nothing but eat lettuce and low fat foods, my blood sugars will still jump up and down. My last A1c was a 6.8 which is very good, but too many hypoglyemic events likely skewed that. Currently, it appears as if the corrections my doctor did were too strong as I've had some blood sugars in the upper 300's and lower 400's that have scared me. It's the constant battle you always have to fight. Have low blood sugars and risk falling down and breaking a bone (done that MANY times myself), or have high blood sugars and risk blindness, impotence, amputation, etc.

Currently, the only side-effects I have evidence of is some retinal cell death in the back of my eye (last eye check showed the early signs of diabetic retinopathy with some very small dark spots caused by blood leaking and dead cells), and some kidney issues. (Protein in the urine, but not at acutely high levels). I'm lucky. Five weeks ago, I broke my ankle in a one-in-a-million incident where I turned my ankle and put weight on it. I started walking without crutches or a boot this past Sunday. Yes, there's still some pain, but it's healed. I still have good circulation despite the alcohol and substance use that my past is filled with.

Right now, I'm still alive. There is always hope when you are alive. Every one of us is going to die sometime. We can't stop that. What we can do is try and enjoy the time we do have. Currently, I'm pretty freaking tanked as I'm half celebrating and half mourning the fact that I found out today when I'm going to lose my job if I don't get slotted to a new position. That will be in August of next year, right around my birthday. So I've got a set timeframe in which I can truly enjoy everything. I'm happy to know, but at the same time fearful of it. But hey, I can't control that. I can only control my BAC which is pretty high scoring right now.

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I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.