MAMEWorld Forums - The Loony Bin - Due to my own stupidity, I almost drowned today, but was saved by an angel.

Learn from my stupid mistakes.

Our conference was over, and all the people we know left the island already. Normally we leave the kids with friends when we surf, so we didn't have anyone to watch the kids today, plus going to our tried and true surfing spot (snicker) was no good with kids in tow... so Gatinha and I decided to drive around the island looking for some new good waves to surf. Safety violation #1... stick to familiar territory.

Not having daycare, the plan was for Gatinha to watch the kids on shore while I surfed, then we'd switch. Safety violation #2: never swim or surf alone. Having someone on shore doesn't count... especially if they are watching small kids and couldn't save you if your life depended on it... which it does.

We saw an awesome North Shore site with great curls... we parked, I hid the car keys, and we made our way down. I saw the surf pounded into some serious rocks. After further surveying the site, there was a calm area to its left... the plan was paddle out in the calm area, ride the waves, and turn off into the calm area again, avoiding the rocks altogether. Yeah, I don't need to point out the safety violation here... pretty much was a dumb idea all around on this one, not even counting the factors I didn't yet know about.

Thinking I'd be smart and check with a local before getting in the water, I found a solitary dude walking along wearing a rash guard... so he must be a surfer, right? I asked him if this was a safe surf site, specifically asking him if there were any known razor coral or rip tides. "Naw, I surf this site all the time, its a safe place." This guy, if I see him again, I would risk serious bodily injury to punch the fucker in the face, because he nearly cost me my life with his fucked up lie.

So I start paddling out, and after a short bit, looked back to check my position, and holy shit! I expected to be 50 yards or so, but I was already way the hell out there. Right away I realized the "calm" part of the surf was a rip tide, and I was quickly being carried out to sea. Looking at shore, going to the right parallel to shore was my only option, since going left parallel would take me out of the rip tide but also away from the island.

So I paddle hard and consistent for easily a half an hour before I realized I'm making no progress, and actually slowly loosing ground, going further out to sea and leftward despite swimming right... when it occurs to me... not only did the rip tide carry me out to sea, but to an ocean current must also be taking me laterally. A little panic set in, since at this point I could no longer make out Gatinha on the shore... and I decide my only hope is to swim as hard and fast as I can to fight the current and get back to the island... so I jump off my board thinking I can swim faster and more streamlined without it... thinking the board would just float me more with the current than without it... and I really bear down for a hard swim.

I swam for what was easily over an hour, and was making slow progress, but I was still so far out Gatinha was just a dot on shore. She was waving her arms at me, but I was too tired to wave back and keep my head above water. I did start thinking about how I can't leave her and the babies alone. I was getting more than exhausted, but had no choice but to push on... and then I realized I was loosing ground again... I was so tired I wasn't keeping up with the current anymore. So I pushed myself harder, and was huffing and puffing, my arms aching, giving it everything I had to get back to shore... and again I made some progress, but now I was entirely spent, and then I took in a lung full of water with my panting. I rolled over to float, cough out the water, collect my thoughts and come up with a plan B, when I heard a voice... a local surfer chick who saw me loosing to the current. She told me grab the tail of her board... which at this point literally saved my life. I had nothing left at that point. She explained she needed my help to paddle back to shore, that this is an ocean current area. Later she told us she was watching me trying to decide to go for help or jump in… she was afraid if she went for help, who'd keep track of where I went (not knowing Gatinha was there) but then I got myself close enough she thought she could risk jumping in after me.

Funny, at this point, I must comment. Even near drowning, and still not out of the woods yet, hanging on to her board's tail, I still couldn't help noticing what a nice hard toned ass she had... the power of the male mind... but I digress.

At some point she noted we weren't making any progress, and I had to help paddle more... telling me to kick my legs harder... but eventually we got close enough to shore where we could body surf in, our plan was to ride the board with the surf the rest of the way. She said she would try to steer us between the rocks as best she could... and as exausted as I was, I did good just to hold on to her board while she controlled our drift, and at the end she got us through a crack in he rocks into a tide pool, where I lay exhausted and spent. Gatinha was there thanking the surfer girl for saving her husband. Once she caught her breath, the surfer girl starting in on me, about what the hell I was surfing there for, no body surfs there, it's a known rip tide and ocean current... it's too dangerous. Yeah... now I know... no thanks to that dick head who reassured me this site was a great site to surf.

All in all Gatinha said the ordeal was over two hours of me battling the current trying to get back to shore.