One other thing you can try, maybe this would work for you... Add this:
mame.exe gamename -confirm_quit
If you're hitting ESC too many times, this will pause your game and stop you from exiting the emulation. It'll pause your game and ask you to hit "Enter" to quit or if you hit ESC again it goes right back to the game.
Maybe not exactly what you wanted but maybe it helps a bit?
Pessimist: Oh, this can't get any worse!
Optimist: Yes, it can!
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