MAMEWorld Forums - The Loony Bin - married binner here

If you are asking “whats in it for me” then, imho, you’re not ready for it. Until you are thinking “I dont care whats in it for me, Im committed to this no matter what” then, yeah.

I would never marry for any financial or “benefit” related reasons, either.

And definitely don’t marry because the person makes you happy at that moment. You have to be happy within yourself, and be willing to share that happiness not for your own benefit, but for the benefit of the one you’re committing yourself to.

I used to had sworn off ever getting married, and used to to state that openly, “I would NEVER put myself through that.” Watching so many friends and people just crash and burn horribly had me convinced marriage was such a stupid institution. Then. Met my wife, and realized, I would commit myself to her, and would literally do it for better or for worse, knowing full well she could pull the rip cord and crash and burn my life at any moment. I was willing to accept that risk.

That’s where I think you are ready to marry, when you can honestly say that you are willing to commit to something bigger than yourself, where you are willing to say you will put your happiness secondary to that thing which is bigger and more important than yourself.

Its not for everyone. It wasnt even for me for years and years. And I thought it would never be for me. Then it was, just like that.

Its a crap shoot. You can only hope the person you choose thinks the same way. Cuz it only takes one of the two to ruin the whole thing, to put themselves first, and the marriage second, and ride the whole damn thing thing burning into the ground. Thats what cheating is, since you brought that up.

Could I be a deluded fool? Possibly. Could she be crashing and burning everything behind my back and I just dont know. Thats possible too. It would suck. Big time. But I knew that was a risk when I married her, and I was ok with that. Because I didnt expect to “get” anything from her to begin with.

For the record, I dont even encourage my older children to maryy. In general, I think they would be better off if they werent. But if they do, then I hope they know what they are doing, because it literally could be the worst mistake they’ll ever make in their whole life, and they will only get half-a-say over how that all goes, and they wont even know how it all worked out until its over, either by death or divorce. How crazy is that!?