In all honesty, you're asking questions that are better answered by just playing with your kit. No explanation on the interwebz is going to prepare you to use this when it matters.
Mess with flash compensation in both directions on different subjects. Try it on food, humans, sculptures, mirrors, and other stuff. Try it in different lighting conditions. Try it with different subject/background distance ratios. Try it with wide and tele lenses. See what works for the sorts of photos you're taking.
Try using the remote flash. Hold the flash in your left hand and the camera in your right hand. Move the flash to different positions. Get your wife to hold it for you when you run out of reach. Once again, do this with different subjects, backgrounds and ambient lighting conditions.
Try shooting with the diffuser and without. See what it does indoors direct or bounced, or outdoors in sunlight or moonlight.
Why did you actually buy an external flash? What did you need if for, or want to achieve with it? That's far more important than the mechanics of using it. Judging by the direction your questions are coming from, I'm not really sure why you actually need a dedicated flash - you might not have outgrown the built-in flash yet.
The built-in flash works reasonably well, it has flash compensation adjustment available, and there's an optional diffuser available for it. You should probably work with the built-in flash, make the most of it, learn to use its settings, and when you come up against clear limitations, then think about how to use the dedicated flash to get past said limitations.
I'm not trying to dis you, I'm just worried you've bought it as a toy and aren't going to be able to make the the most of it as a tool with the approach you're taking.
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