But I wouldn't mind lowering him down into a well and bitching at him for 2 days while drinking and pissing on his head. The fact that he doesn't know jack fuck all shit about Star Trek combined with his audacity to be the first person to wreck the timeline in a Hollyweird reboot just to pimp the Kirk character, just bothers me more and more as time passes and I feel the need to let Abrams know this while I piss on his head in a semi-drunken state. Also I would have to tell that asshole that Winona Ryder as Spock's mom is the biggest miscast I've ever seen and putting her in aging makeup was the act of a retard. I haven't seen anything look so fake and stupid since they put Sharon Stone in a fatsuit for Alpha Dog. Then I would tell him maybe he should put himself in a fat suit and jump off the Empire State Building, while I'm pissing on him.
At this point I would take a break and go in the house and take a dump. But I would shit directly onto toilet paper and bring it back out with me post wipe and drop it on JJ and say look JJ, it's brown. Now look at my piss. It's yellow. Therefore not everything in the universe is teal and orange. It's a goddamn revelation. After a couple of days of this I would take off and then call the local media to go bail him out and film him being lifted out of the well covered in my piss and shit.
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I don't necessarily want to do physical harm to J.J. Abrams
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