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Runner poops in Yard
#311680 - 07/20/13 02:38 AM
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Andrew |
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sounds like the start of a Henny Youngman one liner [nt]
[Re: keshbach1]
#311683 - 07/20/13 05:32 AM
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(oops...showing my age lol)
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--
A story of one man and his obsession with the female anatomy.
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DMala |
Sleep is overrated
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Re: Runner poops in Yard
[Re: keshbach1]
#311684 - 07/20/13 05:51 AM
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He knows more or less when she's going to show up. Wouldn't it be more effective to wait for her one morning, and then casually stroll out there while she's deuceing?
It is kind of impressive, in a weird way. I couldn't squat, shit, and run like that if my life depended on it. I need a good 10 minutes at the very least, and preferably a magazine.
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Love that quote: "This is malicious fecal distribution"
[Re: keshbach1]
#311686 - 07/20/13 06:11 AM
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Hizzout |
70's baby, early 80's child
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Re: Runner poops in Yard
[Re: keshbach1]
#311687 - 07/20/13 06:19 AM
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This is story of this reporters career.
Let's show you the clip 5 more times and describe in excruciating detail the dysfunction of everyday life.
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Tomu Breidah |
No Problems, Only Solutions
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Re: Runner poops in Yard
[Re: Hizzout]
#311697 - 07/20/13 04:15 PM
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> This is story of this reporters career. > > Let's show you the clip 5 more times and describe in excruciating detail the > dysfunction of everyday life.
Huh? I was distracted by news about the royal baby. Everybody is just so excited... that's what the news said.
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LEVEL-4
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Tomu Breidah |
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Re: Runner poops in Yard
[Re: DMala]
#311698 - 07/20/13 04:20 PM
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> He knows more or less when she's going to show up. Wouldn't it be more effective to > wait for her one morning, and then casually stroll out there while she's deuceing? >
He could get a vicious guard dog. Then have it run at her in the middle of her b.m. Or just wait in the SUV, make sure it's windows are tinted, and get a camera ready. If/when she shows up to do her business - (oh yeah! get a super loud horn -if it's legal) then blast away. The hose is a good idea too.
> It is kind of impressive, in a weird way. I couldn't squat, shit, and run like that > if my life depended on it. I need a good 10 minutes at the very least, and preferably > a magazine.
Take 2 quarts of warm water, 2 teaspoons of uniodized sea salt, shake to mix, then chug-a-lug! Wait 1 hour. You'll be running for sure.
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LEVEL-4
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OT: how to find the original source video for that GIF? [nt]
[Re: Andrew]
#311711 - 07/21/13 01:15 AM
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OT: how to find the original source video for that GIF? [nt]
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Andrew |
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Re: OT: how to find the original source video for that GIF? [nt]
[Re: Mojo2000]
#311723 - 07/21/13 06:24 AM
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> how to find the original source video for that GIF
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A story of one man and his obsession with the female anatomy.
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Aha, TYVM [nt]
[Re: Andrew]
#311729 - 07/21/13 01:06 PM
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Aha, TYVM [nt]
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Gor |
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> Kevin Eshbach
I always try to poop before a run. A few weeks ago, though, I had my first emergency shituation after 4.5 miles. Luckily, a friend lived at about 4.75 and her hubby was home. We have never spoken about what I did to that toilet.
That's certainly better than when you end up swimming in it.
[ATTACHED IMAGE - CLICK FOR FULL SIZE]
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Oh for Pete's sake.
loser.com
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DMala |
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Re: Runner poops in Yard
[Re: Gor]
#311765 - 07/22/13 05:54 AM
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> I always try to poop before a run. A few weeks ago, though, I had my first emergency > shituation after 4.5 miles. > Luckily, a friend lived at about 4.75 and her hubby was home. We have never spoken > about what I did to that > toilet.
I've been riding my bike to work when I can this summer, 14 miles one way. I live in fear of this, as most of the ride is on trails and in residential neighborhoods, with very few possibilities for an emergency pit stop. No issues so far, fortunately.
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Gor |
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Re: Runner poops in Yard
[Re: DMala]
#311834 - 07/23/13 04:51 PM
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> > I always try to poop before a run. A few weeks ago, though, I had my first > emergency > > shituation after 4.5 miles. > > Luckily, a friend lived at about 4.75 and her hubby was home. We have never spoken > > about what I did to that > > toilet. > > I've been riding my bike to work when I can this summer, 14 miles one way. I live in > fear of this, as most of the ride is on trails and in residential neighborhoods, with > very few possibilities for an emergency pit stop. No issues so far, fortunately.
I recently found out one of my running buddies dropped a deuce on one of our runs last year. It was on a fairly high traffic paved running/biking path. She held onto a tree for support, then wiped with leaves.
Shit happens.
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Oh for Pete's sake.
loser.com
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GatKong |
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Re: Runner poops in Yard
[Re: Gor]
#311837 - 07/23/13 06:03 PM
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>We have never spoken about what I did to that toilet. >
Oh man. Bad flashback memories there.
When I was younger going to a party with this girl, she stopped at a Starbucks along the way.
Now, I didn't drink coffee or soda or none of that rot... so I was a caffeine virgin if you will... but she offered me an espresso? I think it was an espresso... well, I accepted it, to not be impolite with this fine lady whom I was hoping to impress (and bang).
So we get to the party, and I need to find a bathroom pronto... my bowels were on sudden nitrous oxide fueled over-drive.
I DESTOYED that toilet... alll night long. I made sweet pashionate love to that toilet. I abused it. I cracked it. I atom-smashed it. If a toilet had an ass hole I would have torn it a new one.
I could not have left that party soon enough but she wanted to stay all night... and at some point of course noticed I kept disappearing to the bathroom. I'm sure word got around from the host to her that someone defiled his bathroom in unholy ways because there had to be significant collateral damage... but nothing was ever said to me.
Literally nothing. Last I heard from them all.
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GatKong |
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Re: Runner poops in Yard
[Re: Gor]
#311845 - 07/23/13 07:52 PM
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> then wiped with leaves.
Nooo. Haven't you heard... never use leaves to wipe your butt.
Smooth stones is what you need to use, or says my old military survival training. I'm still alive, so they must have been part right, right?
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Gor |
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Re: Runner poops in Yard
[Re: GatKong]
#311859 - 07/23/13 11:00 PM
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> > then wiped with leaves. > > > Nooo. Haven't you heard... never use leaves to wipe your butt. > > Smooth stones is what you need to use, or says my old military survival training. I'm > still alive, so they must have been part right, right?
Thanks, now I'll know what to tell her the next time I don't know she's taking a dump. I'm never using leaves.
Now, if I can only figure out WTF I got during the Spartan race. It looks like poison ivy, but I have spots on my torso, which was covered. I'm using the topical roids cream just in case.
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Re: Runner poops in Yard
[Re: Gor]
#311861 - 07/23/13 11:57 PM
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> Shit happens.
...and it's caused by arseholes!
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Re: Runner poops in Yard
[Re: GatKong]
#311862 - 07/24/13 12:03 AM
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Head on home with 2 fewer tube socks. Worked for me.
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