MAMEWorld Forums - The Loony Bin

http://boise.craigslist.org/for/3791006703.html

Possibly the greatest Stripper Pole in the world, for Sale

Popular convention and social mores be damned! There comes a time in every young woman or man's life when it just makes sense to own a stripper pole.

Provincial killjoys will tell you otherwise, but I can promise you that their parties will be remembered like a foul odor that lingers in a closed room, while your parties will be recounted as the stuff of legends!

For the discerning gentleman on a tight budget, but wanting Playboy Mansion level notoriety, this pole is for you. Mated with a sound system, some adventurous company, and a few adult beverages, and you've got yourself an evening to remember. You'll be like Tony Stark without the private jet and the billion dollar bank account. (Baby steps, ok? Even Tony had to start somewhere, and if we're being real about it, it was his old man's money that really got the ball rolling, so live a little and don't be so hard on yourself).

Ladies, I haven't forgotten about you, in fact, quite the contrary. "You're not so sure," I can hear you saying. "Someone might think it's not proper," is what I'm hearing.

Let's take a moment to list a little Hollywood royalty who ignored public opinion and won big.

Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, and Natalie Portman!

- Jessica "I landed Mr. un-landable Timberlake" Biel!

- Jessica "I'm a 32-year-old-mother of two and you still dream about me from Sin City" Alba!

- Natalie "my father is a Jewish doctor and he still loves me after Closer and Black Swan!" Portman.

I could go on (In fact, I did, but then what should have been a quick fifteen minute post to craigslist turned into a 2 hour celebrity stripper pole research project, and I realized I might be taking my research a bit too seriously).

Suffice to say, ladies, this is more than just a pole.

It's a way to spice up your life.

It's fitness tool.

It's relationship builder.

It's launch pad to a more exotic life.

I could spend the rest of the day listing the awesome ways this pole could augment your lifestyle, but I'm pressed for time after burning up my afternoon on research.

Take your boring 'down dog' yoga routine vertical, and kick it up to flying monkey (I don't know. Sorry. I'm a little hopped up on caffeine right now. It's after 2:30 and I'm on my third double espresso of the day and monkey was the first acrobatic mammal I thought of. No offense to monkeys intended. Monkeys are great, except Baboons. Baboons are just plain mean, and frankly, don't translate well to the stripper pole scenario in my imagination. Maybe it's the red butt cheeks, I don't know. I digress) and see where that takes your love life.

Anyway, any further description I could throw at this bad boy would surely fall short of its actual level of awesomeness. I bought it for a Halloween party that my wife and I hosted a few years back, and the party was so epic, that two marriages resulted in the aftermath. We broke it out again for New Year's Eve and again, another wedding.
(Let's face facts here. Most people's parties end in your restroom with someone having to hold emo-girl-from-your-office's hair while she hugs the porcelain throne. That, or some dude name Floyd, who you've only just met, and who's ride left two hours earlier, is begging to crash on your couch.) Ours ended in weddings. Just sayin. This bad boy, or coincidence. I think you know.

Anyway, shortly thereafter, the wife and I decided that maybe it was time to put it away for fear of overburdening the local churches and Planned Parent chapter.

Regardless, it's time this money-maker went to a new home, and for a lousy two-hundred dollars, that home could be yours.

On the technical side, it threads together securely and arrow straight, and accommodates a ceiling of 8 feet. For those of you who may wish to take it down between uses, it is easily disassembled in about 10 minutes and can be stored in its original box under a bed or in a closet.

Additionally, it does come with a locking pin. Loosely translated, that means you can lock the pole stationary while you're perfecting your skills, or remove the pin for full 360 degree rotation. And FYI, this thing will spin at a rate that will put your juice ninja to shame so rookies consider yourself warned.

In all seriousness, this pole is not a cheap imitator. It currently retails for $300. before tax and shipping.

If you're inclined to read more, here's the link. . .

http://shop.platinumstages.com/New-Extreme-One-Piece-Super-Pole-Under-10_p_76.html

Any interested parties may email or call me between 9am and 9pm at 208.860.3440

Thanks for looking

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