MAMEWorld Forums - The Loony Bin - Dear married binners, please explain

> If you are asking “whats in it for me” then, imho, you’re not ready for it. Until you
> are thinking “I dont care whats in it for me, Im committed to this no matter what”
> then, yeah.

Thanks for the reply. I'm not considering it, I just want to understand other people, specifically in regard to the 2018 world. If you keep going back in history it makes more and more sense I guess, like if you go back to the 50s the social pressure to get married was probably unbearable I guess.

> I would never marry for any financial or “benefit” related reasons, either.
>
> And definitely don’t marry because the person makes you happy at that moment. You
> have to be happy within yourself, and be willing to share that happiness not for your
> own benefit, but for the benefit of the one you’re committing yourself to.
>
> I used to had sworn off ever getting married, and used to to state that openly, “I
> would NEVER put myself through that.” Watching so many friends and people just crash
> and burn horribly had me convinced marriage was such a stupid institution. Then. Met
> my wife, and realized, I would commit myself to her, and would literally do it for
> better or for worse, knowing full well she could pull the rip cord and crash and burn
> my life at any moment. I was willing to accept that risk.

But why is some antiquated nonsense in a church the only form of commitment that will do? No trust? Is it that your wife told you she wanted that as the commitment piece? I feel like my word is good. If I ever tell a girl I want to be together for life, if she doesn't believe me and wants it in legal marriage writing etc. I would probably be very offended.

> That’s where I think you are ready to marry, when you can honestly say that you are
> willing to commit to something bigger than yourself, where you are willing to say you
> will put your happiness secondary to that thing which is bigger and more important
> than yourself.

But I've already been there in a relationship though (not that I think it's a healthy place to be). I think you can be there in a relationship and not be married. You're basically saying nobody can have a fully committed relationship without a church and a frankly moronic preacher reciting some very very very silly words. The whole process where you get down on a knee and buy a ring that isn't really worth anything aside from the gold's weight (everyone ever married bought a diamond and someone is telling me they are rare - I am not an idiot), then you dress up like Ken and Barbie in a church and stare at each other while a retard preacher who asks poor people for 10% of their income every week so he can spend it on himself spouts out some sort of complete bullshit pagan ritual omg I hate it! I fucking hate it lol.

> Its not for everyone. It wasnt even for me for years and years. And I thought it
> would never be for me. Then it was, just like that.
>
> Its a crap shoot. You can only hope the person you choose thinks the same way. Cuz it
> only takes one of the two to ruin the whole thing, to put themselves first, and the
> marriage second, and ride the whole damn thing thing burning into the ground. Thats
> what cheating is, since you brought that up.
>
> Could I be a deluded fool? Possibly. Could she be crashing and burning everything
> behind my back and I just dont know. Thats possible too. It would suck. Big time. But
> I knew that was a risk when I married her, and I was ok with that. Because I didnt
> expect to “get” anything from her to begin with.

What do you get though, that you couldn't get? What does the wedding change? You're saying people are not capable of achieving putting a relationship value above themselves unless there was a wedding ceremony? Maybe you're saying that women are not capable of this, or maybe simply most but not all people are this way.

> For the record, I dont even encourage my older children to maryy. In general, I think
> they would be better off if they werent. But if they do, then I hope they know what
> they are doing, because it literally could be the worst mistake they’ll ever make in
> their whole life, and they will only get half-a-say over how that all goes, and they
> wont even know how it all worked out until its over, either by death or divorce. How
> crazy is that!?

Well speaking of kids, if you're planning to have kids with someone, the whole world changes at that point, all my ideas and arguments would change. You can fuck kids up for life if the parents split up before they are, I dunno maybe 18.