| Andrew |
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Girl Watcher
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Reged: 09/21/03
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Posts: 5082
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Loc: Boston, Mass.
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assisted living
#334449 - 11/12/14 07:29 AM
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wow serious post for a change.
So we're looking for an assisted living place for my dad.
Have to fill out a form for the first place. Asks lots of questions about bank account balances, CDs, etc.
Should we be moving his savings elsewhere or is it too late for that at this point?
I know for nursing homes they have the 5-year look back thing.
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A story of one man and his obsession with the female anatomy.
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| PokeMAME |
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Gotta catch 'em all!
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Reged: 09/20/03
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Posts: 1405
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Loc: San Antonio, TX
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Re: assisted living
[Re: Andrew]
#334464 - 11/13/14 06:43 PM
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> wow serious post for a change.
>
> So we're looking for an assisted living place for my dad.
>
> Have to fill out a form for the first place. Asks lots of questions about bank
> account balances, CDs, etc.
>
> Should we be moving his savings elsewhere or is it too late for that at this point?
>
> I know for nursing homes they have the 5-year look back thing.
On March 17th I moved my dad down to Texas from the Chicago area. Unfortunately he only lived until August 25th. But here are a few suggestions.
-- if possible do NOT use any of your own money, save it for yourself and your own future.
-- get as many things accomplished while your loved one still has their mental state and hopefully they are cooperative.
-- if they are losing their mind don't let them have access to a phone or else all of your hard work could be easily undone if any particular company calls them.
-- if they are on Medicare make sure they have supplemental insurance.
-- if you are moving them get the address changed to your house, NOT to the facility that you put them in.
-- get a lawyer and an accountant and a finance guy.
-- get a strong Power of Attorney, a Will, a Living Will.
-- get joint tenancy on all accounts and investments.
-- make a list of all assets and rank them by liquidity.
-- check with your local chamber of commerce for places and services.
-- www.aplaceformom.com
-- look for local social workers and/or services.
-- if they are sickly, look into hospice care. Medicare will pay if they qualify.
-- most assisted living places do NOT take Medicare or Medicaid.
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| Andrew |
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Girl Watcher
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Reged: 09/21/03
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Posts: 5082
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Loc: Boston, Mass.
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Send PM
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Re: assisted living
[Re: PokeMAME]
#334484 - 11/15/14 09:58 PM
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Sorry to hear about your dad. Thanks for the tips.
I set him up with meals on wheels for the second time and he up and cancelled it the same day for the second time. So frustrating. I begged him not to cancel it the same day again, to at least give it a few days. I know it's probably not the best food in the world but it's something.
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A story of one man and his obsession with the female anatomy.
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| DMala |
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Sleep is overrated
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Reged: 05/09/05
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Posts: 3989
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Loc: Waltham, MA
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Re: assisted living
[Re: Andrew]
#334503 - 11/17/14 09:33 AM
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> Sorry to hear about your dad. Thanks for the tips.
>
> I set him up with meals on wheels for the second time and he up and cancelled it the
> same day for the second time. So frustrating. I begged him not to cancel it the same
> day again, to at least give it a few days. I know it's probably not the best food in
> the world but it's something.
We're kind of dealing with the same thing for my wife's parents. Her dad is battling throat cancer, which may or may not be in remission, but in the meantime he's having lots of problems with his trach and infections, and he's in and out of the hospital every few weeks. In the meantime, her mom is a stroke victim who is just barely mobile and is almost unable to care for herself alone. Both are in pretty deep denial about how bad their situation is, and they're pretty resistant to any attempts to ramp up the assistance they're getting at home or any talk of assisted living. In the meantime, we live about 60 miles away, as does my wife's brother, so I'm having to draft members of *my* family who are local to go rescue her mom when she gets herself in a jam in the middle of the night. It's pretty frustrating all around.
We did get them to use a service called Home Instead Senior Care which seems to be helping at least a little. They'll send someone over on whatever schedule you want, to cook, clean, run errands, take them to appointments, or whatever else they need within reason. It's not cheap, but it's cheaper than assisted living, and it's a little easier to sell them on since they get to stay at home. It might be something worth looking into for your dad.
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Re: assisted living
[Re: DMala]
#334612 - 11/24/14 01:28 AM
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PokeMAME was fortunate that his dad didn't live long, for avoiding the kinds of issues implicit in the advice he gave, and the problems DMala is having. Fuck, if my parents give any problems, I'm leavin 'em to the wolves. I may not get any inheritance from them that way, but I'll save myself from offing them sooner.
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