Sony Vegas Pro 10 or higher. There is a video fx for timecode and black and white, film grain etc. For the rec and dot you can make a gif in photoshop and import it over your video and put it in partially transparent if you want or whatever. For the fish eye I think you could do that with a few of the effects, playing with them, but I've never tried. You might also find external effects packs to install. I generally stick with just cropping for what I do so I haven't looked.
The programs work with tracks and a timeline just like the audio production programs have since before Cakewalk. You will pick it up no problem. Just spend an afternoon messing with it and you will pick it up. Start a project/file, drag in a video file and it shows up in the timeline. Right click on it and you will see effects options. Putting another track (file) above of it in the track list gives it priority, so if you had one under it that was a minute long and one above it 5 seconds long, when the 5 seconds hits the above one would take priority. It's all very very intuitive and you will pick it up no problem without a need for a book, just put in a few hours exploring. It splits the audio into a track and it's the same deal, right click and you get options for normalize, equalize, effects etc. Just mess with it and ask me beginner questions when you start is my advice. You can go ahead and do experiments with videos on your hard drive any time.
yes, i'm putting text over stuff and keyframing now. i want to try to get a little decent with it since that would obviously be another way to make funny stuff. pretty interesting - the layers work like photoshop.
You might get better luck installing a K-Lite pack and restarting but I'm not sure. There are a couple of things I need to teach you that aren't obvious but I will do that later.
BTW it doesn't matter for something you want to look grainy but in general it's best to go into the output options and jack the bitrate to the gills on audio and video for what you upload to youtube because they are going to recompress what you upload so you might as well start as high as possible. There are also some options for "best" in file/properties video and audio and sometimes in the render as/codec options.
i didn't install k-lite, i just started using stuff encoded with typical codecs. i'll be shooting the video for all of the material i'll be creating, so i'm good.
i know about the youtube thing, the 720p wmv i created looks like an actual security cam. i just wanted a quick/dirty file to upload.